For the effective, impartial calculation & repayment of motherly labor

The ACFLR is a public initiative whose goal is simple: compensate mothers for their labor.

Every laborer deserves a wage. Your mother went into labor for you and has never been repaid. Use the form below to calculate the labor reparations you owe.

$

Section A

Base Labor Fee

Enter your birth year and the number of hours your mother was in labor to calculate how much you owe your mother (minimum wage adjusted for inflation) for the hours she spent birthing. If you were
a C-Section, go to Section C.
1900 2012
Birth Year
1 100
Labor Hours

Section B

Other Charges/Deductions

Please select all that apply to your mother's pregnancy.

B-1

Forced Sobriety
You owe mom for 9 dry months.
0 540
Missed Drinks

B-2

Embarrassment
You owe mom for the gross
stuff that happened to her
during pregnancy.
Flatulence
Incontinence
Emesis

B-3

Weight Gain
You owe mom for making her huge.
0 100
lbs

B-4

Emotional Instability
You owe mom for putting her brain at the mercy of her hormones (consult Father).
1 5

B-5

Navel Formation

You owe mom more for giving
you a normal belly button.


You owe mom less for an
abnormal belly button.

Innie

Outie

B-6

Birth Punctuality
You owe mom more or less depending on when you vacated
the uterus. Were you...
Born Early
Born Late

B-7

Birth Order
You owe mom more or less based on how familiar with childbirth she was when you where born. Where were you in the birth order?
1 20
Child

B-8

Stretch Marks
The bigger you were, the more you stretched mom's perfect skin.
0 15
Birth Weight (lbs)

B-9

Good Offspring Deduction
Are you going to call your mom
on Mother's Day, and thank her for spawning you?
Yes
(Deduct 80% of your total charges.)
No
(Add $100 to your total.)

B-10

Other
Is there an expense or deduction
we missed? Describe it and associate a value.
Additional Charges
Deduction


$

Section C

C-Section

Were you delivered by Cesarean section?


If yes, Section A will be voided in place of a flat fee.

No
Yes

Section D

Contact Information

Fill out the fields below and send your mother an itemized
check for the expenses you incurred while being a fetus.
This information will not be stored or shared externally.
Mother's Name
Mother's Email Address
Your Name
Your Email Address
American Coalition
for Labor Reparations
595 11th Avenue, New York, NY, 10036.
Itemized Charges
  Description Notes Amount Subtotal
A Base Labor Fee
  Hours Labor Adjusted for inflation
         
B Additional Charges/Deductions
B-1 Forced Sobriety Missed Drinks  
B-2 Embarrassment  
B-3 Weight Gain lbs  
B-4 Emotional Instability  
B-5 Navel Formation  
B-6 Birth Punctuality  
B-7 Birth Order Number Child  
B-8 Stretch Marks lbs of Birthweight Compensation  
B-9 Good Offspring  
B-10 Other
         
C C Section
  Cesarean Delivery Flat Fee
         
  Total    
American Coalition
for Labor Reparations
595 11th Avenue, New York, NY, 10036.
/100 Dollars
For Labor Reparations
Promissory Note 00001
Date 05/24/2013
$
Officially Binding
Your mom will be sent an email declaring your intention to pay her labor reparations. She'll receive the above promissory note and can present it to you in the future to collect payment.